The Alternatives with No Help!

So what then happens in cases where a child can not be managed in the home but the "powers that be" determine out of care is not warranted. This sometimes results in harsh or even abusive, in some cases, to try to control and keep the child in check. In other cases the caregiver gives up trying to control and the child is left with little to no rules and boundaries. These children often end up getting into worse trouble, though not necessarily illegal so again it is under the scope of getting more help.

So why then in America is it so hard for a parent to get help with these emotionally disturbed children that show difficult behaviors. Isn't it better to have a safe haven where a staff can work with the child on these issues and still have the parent be involved and visit in a safe environment. It is especially disturbing when an adoptive parent with training and experience in emotionally disturbed and behavioral children is crying out that the behaviors are out of control and not receiving any support but again told that they should be able to manage it in their own home. In some cases at the risk of other children and family members.

I have seen the health of family members in the home deteriorate in certain cases due the the pressures and stress of dealing with these children needing more help. Their emotional health is also at rist due to the pressures and stress of raising such children. I do not advocate abandoning such children but rather safe and controlled environments and continued involvement from loved ones. In this way maybe these children can come around instead of a situation in the home potentially leading to abuse or a child running the streets with little rules. In my next blog I will look at some options that do exist in our society.

A System That Fails Parents and Children

First of all let me apologize for neglecting my blog. I make a commitment to do better at blogging.

I think I have a subject that might spark some interest especially with exasperated parents out there. The subject is a system that fails parents and children. Here is what I mean and I see it most often with children adopted from foster care, though there may be plenty of you with bio children in the same boat. Children can have severe emotional and behavioral problems. I truly believe that out of home care is warranted in some of these cases. Institutional care leaves a bad taste in some peoples mouths and granted there were some terrible ones out there. By and large the institutions of today, though there are many less, are much better and involve parents and welcome visits. (I am not saying at at that there are not some bad ones out there still for anyone who has had a recent bad experience)

What I want to focus on in the next several blogs is having a child beyond control in the home and the lack of help for exasperated parents. Now days in the world of mental health we have what we call least restrictive environment. This means you can not institutionalize anyone able to have a semblance of function in the outside world. The most severe cases of today can qualify more easily. What about some other cases where the parent has tried these in home services, use medication and counseling and is still crying out that the behaviors are not manageable. It then often falls to an insurance company or a state social worker and medicaid to qualify the child for out of home care. This can be very difficult to do and I have seen parents told by the system and bureaucrats that there child does not qualify for out of home care. Generally then more in home services are offered while the exasperated parent is crying out for help and that one more in home service will not ensure their own or the child's safety. So who ends up deciding what the parent is able to handle in their own home or how much care is needed the system and bureaucracy.

These next several blogs are dedicated to those who love their children, do not want to give them up, but their behavior is unmanageable in the home and a system that is broken down is telling you that you have to handle it in the home. It is great when in home services do work but they don't always. Please tell me your stories and let me know what you would like to hear about on this topic. I welcome and want your comments. Feel free to speak up if you have a success in getting the help you needed or if you are currently exasperated and not getting help. I am hoping this blog can be a small voice in changing a broken system. I will try to write weekly unless the blog really takes off and I hear you want more.